About three weeks ago, Daniel and I decided that we should try letting Faith put herself to sleep after her bedtime/naptime routine. I did a lot of research through online articles and interviewing other moms (including mine) about the best way to approach it.
The reason we decided it was necessary was because Faith had been nursed to sleep since she was about 7 weeks old and co-slept with us. I loved this arrangement because I was working as a teacher after Faith turned 5 weeks and getting up in the middle of the night and trying to figure out how to put her to sleep was getting impossible. Co-sleeping meant peaceful nights and more nursing for Faith. Since she is mostly bottle-fed, I try to nurse her before she sleeps now - just to signal bed time. However, this came to bite me in the butt after the summer started and I no longer went to bed with my newborn daughter. And being used to cuddling and nursing as she please, Faith would wake up for the first two hours of napping and sleeping and cry to be nursed. It got to the point where she no longer wanted to be rocked, held or sung to - only nursed. (About two weeks before I started letting her cry, I had been moving the sleeping Faith to the crib without waking her up - very difficult but worth it since she had started rolling and needed to put off of our bed for her own safety.) After debating whether or not I was ready for her to be more independent or not, I went ahead with finding a way to get her to sleep on her own.
I decided that my approach would be to do our regular routine, which had been established very early on, of bath, massage, large bottle, nurse and move her to the crib. If she was to be asleep when she got moved, that was fine, but if she was awake, she was awake and would need to fall asleep on her own. Once the crying starts, I go in within 3-5 minutes and rub her back pretty hard because I don't feel like she feels a light, gently rub when she's so worked up. I sing to her for about 1 minute and leave the room while she's usually still screaming. The next time I go in about 7-10 minutes later, and repeat. Now that we've been doing it for 3 weeks, she's really never crying past the first 10-15 minutes, but there have been a few nights where I've put her to be when she's too hungry still and cried for a long time before I got the hint.
The first night, I felt like a failure as a mom. Daniel had gone out with friends and I had to listen to my baby truly scream like never before all by myself. It was the worst idea. I gave in to her after an hour and a half and just held her while she whimpered and tried to stop crying. She looked so sad and almost confused about why she cried so long. I crawled into bed with her attached to me and nursed her to sleep.
I went to work the following week and talked with a mom-friend and asked her how she did it with her two kids. Turns out, her oldest cried-it-out at 9 months and her youngest was 3 months. I asked which she preferred and she said that doing it younger was the best decision. Her youngest now just passes out when she pleases. Renewed, with the faith that my Faith would be okay if we did it at this age, I talked with my husband again about the plan.
So we tried it again. And it was HARD. She cried for about two hours. She fell asleep for a period of about fifteen minutes before she woke up and did it all over. We went in during our intermittent periods, trading off which parent got to go in, and held strong. Praise the Lord, it was the best night she's slept. And the next morning she woke up, cooed from her crib for about ten minutes while waiting for me to come to her, and gave me the happiest smile. Relief flooded me and it made the crying worth it. Not only had Faith gotten wonderful sleep but she still loved me in the morning.
The next two or three nights she cried for about 30 minutes- 45 minutes at the most but after that she has pretty much gone down every night with about a 5 minute protest, which I'm sure she'll never really get rid of. My baby girl likes to know what's going on - she was that way when she was born. Just watched everyone instead of crying and getting worked up.
Naps have lasted usually 3 hours or more, 2x a day, with nighttime sleep lasting approximately 11 hours. Our little sleeping champ amazes me. I know that some people say not to start earlier than 4 months, but I think you have to know your own child and go with what she needs. Faith is so used to putting herself to sleep she now rarely falls asleep at the breast and will drink all she desires, look up at me and coo - I think it's her way of saying, "All done!" - and I pick her up, burp her, rock her with a little nursery song, and lay her down with her blankie. Sure, she'll whine and cry a little but some nights she just rolls over to her belly and says some prayers to God, and puts herself to sleep.
And every morning, she still loves me.
Love,
Kirsti
Love,
Kirsti
No comments:
Post a Comment